The nation’s paper of record published a remarkably bad take recently on masculinity and femininity. The piece, titled “Enough Leaning In. Let’s Tell Men to Lean Out,” is by Ruth Whippman, whose bio states that she is working on a book on raising boys. Buckle up.

The gist of the author’s argument is that society should stop telling women to be more masculine — which is, according to this article, to be assertive, confident, and unapologetic — and instead should start telling men to be more, well, feminine.

Much could and should be said in response to this article, but what I wanted to highlight is what the author defines as the “female standard” that should be the new norm for workplace behavior:

“So H.R. managers and self-help authors, slogan writers and TED Talk talkers: Use your platforms and your cultural capital to ask that men be the ones to do the self-improvement for once. Stand up for deference. Write the book that tells men to sit back and listen and yield to others’ judgment. Code the app that shows them where to put the apologies in their emails. Teach them how to assess their own abilities realistically and modestly. Tell them to “lean out,” reflect and consider the needs of others rather than assertively restating their own. Sell the female standard as the norm” (emphasis added).

What struck me when I read this is not at all how un-masculine the author’s “female standard” is, but how biblical it is. Here is what I mean:

Another way to say “stand up for deference” is found in Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

Telling someone they should “sit back and listen and yield to others’ judgment” is akin to the biblical proverb: “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future” (Proverbs 19:20).

A readiness to apologize for wrongdoing is one of the most basic marks of a Christian: “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13); “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23–24).

The admonition to “[t]each them how to assess their own abilities realistically and modestly” is basically Paul’s instruction in Romans 12:3: “I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think.”

And saying, “consider the needs of others rather than assertively restating their own” is essentially a paraphrase of “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).

In fact, this passage in the book of James that summarizes what should define Christian conduct in the world could very well replace the “female standard” recommended by this author:

“Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. ¹⁴ But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. ¹⁵ This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. ¹⁶ For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. ¹⁷ But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. ¹⁸ And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (James 3:13–18).

What does all of this reveal about today’s “masculine” and “feminine” stereotypes?

When I finished this article, I was reminded of a debate in 2016 that was kicked off by an essay Glen Stanton wrote at First Things titled, “Why Man and Woman are not Equal.” Stanton’s essay, which I commend to you, led to the accusation that he was arguing that women are more virtuous than men. This accusation led to more debate, which of course led to more responses.

It is not my intention to re-litigate any of that debate here. But after reading this article in the New York Times, I was left scratching my head with a related question: Couldn’t it be said that today’s feminine stereotypes, like the ones encountered in this NYT article, are more virtuous than today’s masculine stereotypes? It would seem that way at least from this article, which presents masculinity as boorishness and femininity as so closely aligned with the biblical description of a Christian — man or woman.

If this is true, then we must make something crystal clear to the boys and men in our lives. Insofar as culture’s “feminine” stereotypes overlap with standard Christian morality, a call for men to be more like this is not a call toward effeminacy — no matter how it is framed by the world — but a call toward Christlikeness.

Consideration, deference, and humility are not uniquely “feminine” virtues. They are Christian. And brashness, over-confidence, and an unwillingness to admit fault do not define “masculinity.” These are un-Christian, and must not be named among Christian men.